Arran "Life of Brian" trip, February 1990 (from Dave Crowley)
On a cold, dark, storm ridden Glen Rosa campsite:
Megan: "Right Jack, now you've got it in, could you take it out again?"
(God knows what she was talking about!)
From out of the tent they were sharing, Linda's voice pipes up:
"OOH Oliver, It's getting bigger!"
(Actually talking about the flame on the Trangia...)
Having deserted the said storm ridden campsite for B&B the night before, on his return as we were packing up, Brian (of trip title fame):
"I just couldn't sleep last night, that electric blanket was too hot!"
(I'll never understand why he didn't end up in the river!)
Bridge of Orchy, March 1996
Kate: "Thank you very much, that five inches was just perfect."
Wasdale, May 1996
Jim Heath: "That was where I was bitten by a water vole in 1983."
Big Day Out, May 1996
(Scene: Inglesports Cafe. Mr Williamson brings a finely crafted lard-encrusted bacon and egg roll, order no.69, to the ravenous Mike...)
PW: "69?"
Mike: "Yes Please!"
(After much persuasion that this was indeed Mike's breakfast...)
PW: "And I just thought you were bent!"
Tom (to Mike shortly afterwards): "Just don't ask for a sausage sandwich!"
Three Peaks Challenge, June 1996
Jake (on his poo): "Laid it? I could have poured it!"
Clapdale Weekend, October 1995
Helen: "I used to have a pet Jif Lemon..."
Mike (on Rosie): "I got a handful of margarine last night and offered her a grout!"
Kate: "It's grim up Ben"
Three L's Weekend, February 1997
The trip motto, taken from the walls of the Ratchers Tavern:
"If you're over 18, why not try BEERTM, It's Nice. And it gets you battered."
Lake District Crawl I
Rosie (playing Mike at pool): "Oh - we're both potting reds!"
Tara to Aled: "OK, do you fancy a shag then?"
Aled in reply: "No. You're too easy."
Jon: "You know when you shove a tampon up your arse......."
Clapdale Weekend, October 1995
Rosie: "Steve and I are two equal halves of a beautiful whole"
Mike: "So - do you have a beautiful hole?"
Rosie: "I hate you, Mike"
Jon: "I never knew you could use a lolly as a depository..."
Mike: "There's blood all over the bog window."
Jon: "Maybe someone's had their period in there."
Yorkshire Dales Crawl
Nick O and Mike set off for the minibus:
"I think we should find a nice wench in Hawes..."
"How about a nice whore in Wench?"
Ruth: "I used to smoke..."
Chris: "But now she uses better lubricants."
Will: "Nick's off to the bushes with the paper for a wank."
Tom (as the bus stalls outside Lofthouse): "Oh shag, the hamster's dead!"
Adam on advocaat: "It's a bit like drinking snot."
Ian S.: "Rosie furiously wagged her tail at Wensleydale - she spent most of the day on all fours. Once or twice she was rubbing up against peoples' legs."
Rosie: "Woof."
Patterdale, January 1996
Colin (discussing his"measurements"): "It's extremely small and very difficult to lay your hands on."
Dawn: "Chris - will you hold that sheep still while I sit on it?"
Lake District Crawl II
Chris (on his arse): "I should stick a tube up it and tap it."
Bigger Day Out - March 1997
Karen: "Nice arse... Oh shit, it's a woman!"
Eileen: "It's quite hygeinic to suck your own foam."
Aviemore - March 1997
Will W: "It's good cheese, but it's not worth dying for..."
Matt E: "If you can imagine, we were in this whiteout... pitch black..."
Wasdale - May 1997
Jake: "I took the skin off my knuckles jamming my fingers in a crack, trying to get your nuts out..."
Welsh 3000ers Challenge - June 1997
Colin: "I've got time to finish this, get some pears eaten, phone Kate, have a wank and sort my life out."
Nick O (on his mobile, on a mountain top, at 3am): "Hello Mike."
Mike (waiting in minibus): "Hi Nick, where are you?"
Nick O: "Erm... that's a good question..."
Ladies Alcoholic Perambulation - April 1998
Lisa: "I don't need chocolate or men. Just lettuce."
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